cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
