that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
