I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
