I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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