There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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