Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
