so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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