Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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