I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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