Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
