You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
