Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
