She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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