lets start a swedish sibling band together
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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