the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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