We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
that is very illegal...i love you.
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