He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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