lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
