Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
