Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
