ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the day after is always just damage control
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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