All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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