I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
