man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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