i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize