just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I party with great urgency now.
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