Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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