i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
