Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
