is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
