i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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