My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
