I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
They have beer where we have blood.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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