I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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