Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
