Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
