I should be sponsored by Trojan
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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