the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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