You made me cry and you don't even care
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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