help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
