He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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