She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
