Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's rum buckets o'clock
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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