DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
