So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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