1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
