Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
