Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
