She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
