She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
