I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
