Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
