No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
