hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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