He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
