the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i believe in u and ur pee
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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