An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Mom said you looked used
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
