Someone shit on the floor
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sorry my hands just texted you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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