just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
