At least make sure they are 18
Why
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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