I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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