So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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