um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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