lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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