Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
