His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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