its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
