You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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