Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
