when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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