When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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