I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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